Sex is supposed to be fun, right?
And orgasms are supposed to be a blissful moment of pleasurable release? But, as many of us know, that's not always the case for everyone.
For some, reaching climax too early, or not reaching climax at all adds high levels of emotional and psychological pressure to lovemaking. There are many reasons that sexual functioning can vary from person to person ranging from medical conditions to stress. The good news is that there are possible ways to take control of your sex life and bring the joy back into the bedroom, no matter your age, gender, inclination or blocks.
One of these techniques is called edging. For me, the practice of edging is a useful practice that allows me to reconnect with my own body, boost my libido and heighten my orgasms. I firmly believe that it can be helpful to anyone who is sexually active. However, we are so often told about these unusual techniques, but rarely given any concrete instructions of how to do them. That is why I have put together this handy guide to help you take control of your orgasms!
So, what is edging?
Edging is the practice of nearing the point of orgasm then stopping, before you reach the peak, dwelling at that delicious tingly edge. From there, you allow your arousal levels to decrease, before building up again. You might practice this once, twice, or as many times as you can handle in one session. You can practice alone with your hands, with a vibrator, or with a partner.
Why practice edging?
One of the most popular reasons for practising edging is to combat premature ejaculation. For this reason, this method is usually considered to be more popular among men. However, there is a growing awareness that orgasm control is equally popular among men and women, as a way to experience the pleasurable sensations of orgasm over an extended period.
Female Orgasmic Disorder, or difficulty to reach orgasm, is quite common, and edging can also assist in overcoming this annoying bedroom problem. By focusing on the sensations of the body and actively drawing back, the body and mind start to work together to recognise the cues of climax. Often this condition arises because women focus too hard on the act of coming quickly and become fixated on the end goal. Edging allows you to remain present in the process.
Others might partake in edging because they have particular sexual interests like BDSM, and like to use their orgasms to incorporate power play dynamics. There are endless reasons why this tool can be useful for creating high levels of sexual arousal.
So, how do I practice edging?
The Point of No Return
For most people, there is an orgasmic "point of no return." At first, you will need to find this point via masturbation. This is the point at which you can't stop your orgasm, no matter how hard you try. You need to become familiar with your own body so you can recognise the signs that you are nearing the point of orgasm. Usually, this will be accompanied by curling toes, changes in breath, body trembles, clitoral pulsations or changes in body temperature. Once you start to feel these sensations, focus all your energy to bring yourself back. You can share your findings with your partner, and encourage them to do the same.
Controlling Orgasm with a Partner
When you are working with a partner to control orgasm, it is a good idea to begin by masturbating together. Instruct them to masturbate in front of you. When you notice they are really aroused, instruct them to stop. Give them a minute break, and then tell them to start again. Repeat this three or four times, then ask them to come. You can then switch roles.
Next time, take control of your partner's orgasm yourself and have them do the same for you. Hopefully, you will notice each other's bodily cues and will be less reliant on verbal instruction near the point of no return. You can incorporate power dynamics for increased arousal, like begging for permission to climax or adding in some bondage play.
Once I started to play with edging in my sexual adventures, I never turned back! It allowed me to feel much more connected to my body, and made my orgasms explosive! I also developed a much stronger sexual bond with my partner.
There is no harm in giving edging a see if it can make you last longer, or just simply make your climax feel better. You can experiment by using lubricant, incorporating sexy lingerie, or adding a cock ring for harder erections.
When it comes to edging, you can create your own parameters, so do whatever feels right for you.